


the best is over (and the worst is yet to come)

by hollow_city



Series: after laughter (comes tears) [3]
Category: Batman (Comics)
Genre: But nobody dies I promise, Gen, Hallucinations, Hostage Situations, Near Death Experiences, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Unhappy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-18
Updated: 2018-03-18
Packaged: 2019-04-03 23:39:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14007366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hollow_city/pseuds/hollow_city
Summary: this isn't right. it's not right and jason can't get enough air into his weak lungs and he can't fathom what is happening right now and dick is choking behind him but he doesn't know what to do. what is hesupposedto do?he does what he's always done.[or: jason suffers and can't accept that a family is not a liability.]





	the best is over (and the worst is yet to come)

**Author's Note:**

> how late is this? eh. more than half a year. please forgive me. i'm sincerely sorry.

-

Jason isn't a family kind of guy. Probably. At least, he doesn't think so. Then again, he's never really had much of one, so maybe that's why.  

Unfortunately for him, he's stuck with three obnoxious people claiming to be his brothers and one person viciously twisting his arm until he agrees that she's his sister.

And he doesn't know what to do with that.

He's always been an only child. When his parents were still alive, he was an only child, and when Bruce took him in, he  _technically_ wasn't the only child, but Dick wanted absolutely nothing to do with him, so he might as well have been. Furthermore, he's never really had the greatest support system, either. His father isn't anything Jason likes to think about, and his mother tried her damndest, but even that wasn't enough. When Bruce took him in, Jason wasn't sure what he thought would change, but unfortunately for his youthful sense of hope, next to nothing did. Bruce was never really around, and when he was, Jason didn't really feel like he was anything more than a replacement for the older brother he was supposed to have. 

(Alfred, though. Alfred was always great.)

So, yeah. Maybe Jason doesn't know how a family is supposed to work. 

But they all seem to think differently. He knows this because ever since that night in his apartment with Cass, they've been acting like nothing has changed. Like he didn't die, like he didn't go on a murderous rampage, like he doesn't still periodically go too far. Like he's actually their family.

Except he's not. He's not. He can't pinpoint why, but he knows, deep down, that they  _shouldn't_ be his family.

Maybe it's because they don't understand him, maybe it's because everyone who has ever been his family has failed him. He doesn't know. 

But he will. 

-

When Jason comes to, the first thing he does is make sure he's still got all of his limbs. He did, in fact, just survive a massive blast from a bomb set by Generic Terrorist Group #243, so he wouldn't be shocked if he's missing a few fingers or maybe a leg. Just his luck, though, everything is still attached, even if nearly every part of his body is aching or burning in some way. 

"Good, you're awake."

Jason's eyes snap open and his entire body stiffens. It takes every fiber of his being to silence the pained groan that wants to follow the movement. When his eyes finally focus, he finds himself staring into the eyes of a domino mask. 

At first, he's half convinced that he's back in the Batcave or somewhere similar, but then he realizes that this domino mask is blue, and positively covered in golden glitter. 

Unless Dick has gone back to the disco days, this is most certainly not the Cave.  

"The fuck're you?" he manages to slur out, watching as the person takes a step back and stands tall in front of him. Their shoulders are broad but so are their hips and their arms are crossed over their chest. 

"Tell me your name and I'll tell you mine," they say, and Jason wishes he could make out their voice better, but it's scrambled by the tiny device attached to their cheek. 

"Y-You can call me-" Jason starts but is cut off when the person lunges forward and stretches out an arm. Their hand comes to his neck and the pinprick of a needle causes a shiver to climb his spine. " _Fuck_."

They press the plunger of the syringe, and Jason's not sure exactly what it is they're putting in him, but it sure as hell feels like fire. Pure magma racing through his veins, burning through the adrenaline that kept him from keeling over. He can't help himself when his entire body pitches back and hits the wall, a groan of agony escaping through grinding teeth. 

The person steps back, pocketing the syringe and crossing their arms again. They watch him squirm through the ferocious pain for another moment, before stepping back again. 

"What did you do to me?" Jason grits out, his eyes wide and sweat gathering on his rosy face. "What is this?"

They smile a grim little smile and sigh. "You'll find out eventually, I'm sure. Just wait a little longer, and the pain'll stop. I'll be back when it's over."

With that, they leave him alone in the room. 

It's dark and quiet and very cold, leaving him with nothing to distract himself from the pain racing through his body. He can't even use the process of elimination because none of these symptoms add up. The only change he can feel now is his will to stay silent slowly dwindling. More and more groans and whimpers leave his mouth until the pain finally starts to fade. His chest is left heaving as he desperately tries to regain enough oxygen to drag himself up to sit against the concrete wall. 

With a sigh, he drops his head back, lifting his bound, shaking hands to check his face. Surprisingly, his domino is still in place, which confuses him. If they actually managed to get their hands on him and keep him in place, why the hell didn't they want to know who he was? Why else would they want him? He knows he's nobody's favorite vigilante, considering how many people have wanted his head on a silver platter recently, but nothing about this situation seems familiar. 

"That's probably because of how dull you are," a high-pitched voice pipes up from across the room. 

Jason's head snaps up, his eyes taking a moment to focus after the sudden jerk, and finds himself staring at the brat himself. The kid has his hands tied behind his back and his feet secured together. His mask has clearly been torn off if the irritated red skin around his eyes is anything to go by. 

"Gremlin? The hell are you doing?" Jason grumbles, fairly certain that Damian hadn't been there before. "Where's B?"

Damian sighs like this is all an incredible inconvenience to him. "Around, I'm sure." He doesn't answer Jason's second question, though.

"Do you know who these people are?" he asks, pushing himself further back so he can sit up straighter. 

The kid shrugs, jerking his chin to the other side of the small room. "Unfortunately, only Drake acquired that information. The imbecile was incapacitated before he could share with the class." 

Jason's head jerks again in his haste to look over to where Damian is pointing. Sure enough, there in the other corner of the room lies Tim's body. He can't see too well in the dim lighting, but he can definitely make out the shape of the straps that span across his chest and meet in the middle. He's not moving, but Jason thinks his chest is rising, which gives him a brief moment of relief. 

"What happened to him?" he asks, carefully keeping the concern from his voice. 

"I believe he took a blow to the head by part of the wall when these cretins blew it up," Damian replies before his nose scrunches slightly. "He may have... also been shot. I cannot tell."

"He was," another voice croaks. Jason pointedly does not jump, but his body stiffens all over again. The aches and burns from before reappear, but he does his best to ignore them. 

"Wing?" he squints in the dark to his left, now barely able to make out a form larger than the rest. 

The person grunts, as if they're adjusting their position. "Hey, Little Wing."

Jason's hand clenches into a fist, but decides that right now is not the time for arguing about dumb nicknames. 

"What the hell is going on?" he gasps, pressing his face as far into his shoulder as he can reach in lieu of rubbing a hand down his face. His hands are still bound, so he couldn't do that even if he tried. 

Dick inches closer and bumps his knee against Jason's, wincing when the younger man's breath hitches. He doesn't apologize and he doesn't explain. 

Jason wants to scream and shout at them, ask them what they're doing, what's happening, but when he opens his mouth to try, his chest rattles with rough coughs. They leave him breathless and with a throat aching so fiercely he swears he's swallowed needles. He can only watch as Dick drags himself, only able to use one arm as one leg appears twisted and one shoulder completely dislocated. He pulls himself towards Tim's limp body, his breaths coming in short bursts as he works through the pain Jason imagines he must be feeling. 

"Tell me he's still alive," Jason croaks, closing his eyes briefly to stave off a wave of dizziness. He hears Dick shuffle to a halt and a slump against the wall. He waits a moment. 

After an especially icy silence, Dick makes a choked little noise that sounds a little like a drowning cat. 

"Do you want me to lie to you?"

Nobody says anything, the breath in Jason's lungs quickly turning stale. The door opens, and they all freeze. The same person from before shoves a lithe body through the doorway and leans into the room. As soon as the body thumps against the floor, they grin, a sharp, menacing thing that doesn't hold anything but malice. 

"Having fun yet?" they ask, before breaking into laughter. It's slightly hysterical and a little wet. They slam the door shut behind them, leaving the body on the floor.

None of them move for a moment. Not a single inch. They don't want to flip that body to see the face and verify that it is who they think it is. 

After a painful silence, Jason drags himself away from the wall and towards the body. His lip trembles and he bites into it until he tastes blood because he hasn't cried in so long, that now isn't the time for him to fall apart. When he reaches the body, he clears his throat of the lump that now resides within and reaches out with his good arm. He plants his hand on the shoulder and pushes, inhaling a stuttering gasp when the body flips over, revealing a young and ashen face. 

It's Cass. 

And she's not moving. She's not breathing, her heart isn't beating.

This isn't right. It's not right and Jason can't get enough air into his weak lungs and he can't fathom what is happening right now and Dick is choking behind him but he doesn't know what to do. 

What is he _supposed_ to do? 

He does what he's always done.

Jason grits his teeth, and swallows the blood pooling in his mouth, and drags himself to his feet. It hurts and it aches, but he pushes on anyway. 

"Where the  _fuck_ is Batman?" he growls, stumbling and barely managing to catch himself on the wall. A laugh that borders on a sob escapes his mouth. Not a sound follows, and for a moment, Jason has to squeeze his eyes shut to steady everything in front of him.

He turns around to look at Damian again, but he doesn't find what he expects. 

The people he'd just been conversing with aren't all there anymore. They're all dead. But that can't be, because wasn't he just talking to them? 

"Wing?" he calls out, turning to where Dick had once been sprawled. He's still there, but he's _still_. Eerily still. Twisted, broken, bloodied. 

_Dead._

"Hood!" a voice from outside the door yells, muffled by the thick metal. 

Whatever breath was left in his lungs escapes as his mind reels.

That's Dick's voice, but Dick is right here, and he's dead. And so is Cass. And Tim. And Damian. 

His whole family is dead, they're all gone, right in front of him, how could he let this happen? There is no way he could've let this happen.

"Jason," the same voice calls, the same illusion from moments ago.

"No," Jason whispers in between gasps for breath. The fire in his veins races through his body as he stumbles away from the wall. 

Someone grabs his hands and then his hands are freed. 

"Jason, please, you need to breathe," Dick's saying, but Jason isn't stupid enough to believe it. "Jason! Listen to me!"

The world snaps into focus when a thumb digs into the stab wound in his upper arm that's still bleeding sluggishly. 

"Dick?" he breathes out, staring at the man in front of him. He's holding Jason's helmet and regarding him like a frightened animal. He glances around frantically, his eyes flicking between the bodies on the floor.

A rush of confusion floods his body. They aren't his family. They aren't anybody that he knows. They're just bodies. They were never anybody he knew. 

"What was it?" he croaks, pushing away from Dick and wiping the back of his hand across his face. 

Dick gives him a look that just makes Jason's stomach turn. 

"It was like fear toxin, but worse," he tells him, glancing over his shoulder. "We don't have an antidote yet, but come back to the Cave with us, we'll figure something out."

He sounds too sincere, too gentle, too caring, and Jason can't take it. 

"Why me?" he asks, his breathing almost back to normal. Every few blinks he almost thinks he's back where he was, but he knows he's not there. They aren't dead. They're fine. He's not the only one who survived. 

"You, um," Dick starts but pauses to swallow hard, his eyes scanning Jason's body for injuries. "You killed their brother."

Of course, he did. 

"But that doesn't matter now," Dick continues frantically. "You're bleeding, a lot, we have to get you back to the Cave. Agent A will take care of you."

Jason barks out a rough laugh. It's mirthless and flat and it sounds like he's been gargling rusty nails. 

"No, no, I'm not going back with you," he says, because he's decided. 

He's made his decision. 

"I don't need your help," he spits, snatching his helmet from Dick's hand. "I'll be fine."

He shoves past Dick, nearly losing his balance along the way. The older man reaches out to grab him, but Jason only shoves him away. His fingers itch to grab hold of Dick's hand and let him bring him back to the Batmobile and back to the safety of the Cave, but Jason knows he can't do that. 

He's not that kid anymore. He doesn't belong there. They're not his family anymore. 

"Just - just leave me alone," he chokes, shoving his helmet back on his head. Pain twinges in his shoulder but he ignores it, taking his leave as quickly as he possibly can. 

He knows now. They can't be his family because that's just another thing for him to lose. If he has brothers and sisters, he'll just lose them. 

It's okay, though. He's used to it.

He can be alone again. 

-

**Author's Note:**

> am i entirely satisfied with this? no. my notes for this series look nothing like the way this ended up. at all. but i'm so overdue with this one that i just need to get it out so i can move on and get past the giant ass block in my mind.


End file.
